60 Years of Thorns & Roses

By Elmer Ellsworth Shelhamer

Part II

Chapter 42

TOO CONFIDENTIAL

 

     We are in a world of misunderstanding. The motive or intention may be as pure as heaven, and yet the behavior open to severe criticism. In our efforts to avoid this we are liable to swing from one extreme to the other. It seems too bad that about the time we get halfway balanced, we either go to heaven, or become so tame and conservative as to cease to wake up the dead.

     In my second mistake just mentioned, I fell into the error of denunciatory preaching and shutting myself up in spirit from my brethren lest I should become tainted with their sentimental ways. In short, I became too unsociable. Now after recovering from this I went to the other extreme, and in several instances became too confidential. On one occasion a preacher was seeking help in his experience, and being troubled along the line of emotiveness, asked me how I lived. I insisted that it was not my prerogative to say how other married people should live, as that must be a mutual agreement between themselves, but then went on to relate a little of my personal experience and the blessedness that came from such a life. Later, he backed down, then made capital of what I had said. In this I was sincere, but too confidential.

     From this incident let me here exhort the reader: Keep some things to yourself. Remember, intimate friends may not always remain such, and should they turn, they are capable of doing you more hurt than anyone else. One writer has said, "Never make confidants. And a greater one has said, "Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. For the son dishonoreth the father. The daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house." Micah 7:5, 6.

     Do not tell all your plans and inner convictions, for sometimes things are repeated, not intentionally to hurt you, but it gives the devil a chance to work against you. Always have a business understanding in "black and white." Under no circumstances trust to memory, for memory sometimes forgets. No difference how saintly the person, sometimes he changes his mind. And remember that people will more readily believe a woman's statement than a man's. Generally speaking, they have a right to, except in business matters. In this respect, as a rule, women are changeable. For this reason when once a good Christian lady gave me a deed to a house and lot I kept it awhile, then, without her asking, gave it back to her. Another good woman offered me $800.00 with which to buy a home, but I thanked her and declined, saying she might need it herself, later on. I have been thankful many times since that I did not accept it. It is easier to get into a thing than it is to get out.