My Pig Jokes Page 5


Why did the pig go to the casino ?
      To play the slop machine !

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?
      Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

Why do pigs like February 14th?
      They get lots of Valenswines.

Why did the pig join the Army?
      He heard the food was a mess.

FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch?
PIGLET: Beets me!

How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
     Build a sty-scraper!

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?
     Auld Lang Swine.

What do you say to a naked pig?
      "I never sausage a body."

Why do pigs love Halloween?
     There's lots of hogsgobblin.

What do pigs do on nice afternoons?
      They go on pignics.

What kind of pig do sows dislike?
     Male Chauvinist Pigs.

Where do retired pigs go for warm weather?
     The tropigs!

Why do pigs have flat snouts?
      From running in to trees.

Who is the greatest painter of this century?
     Pigcasso!

What do you call a pig with good table manners?
     Sick.

What instrument do piggys play in a band?
     Pigcussion!

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
     In his hog cabin!

What do you call a pig that took a plane?
     Swine flu!

Name the pig's favorite Shakespeare play.
     Hamlet.

What do piggys take when they are sick?
     Pigicillin!

What goes "knio, knio?"
     A backward pig.