My Pig Jokes Page 3

Why are there so many piggy banks?
     Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress.

Two pigs robbed a bank.
     Why were they caught so quickly?
They squealed on each other.

Why isn't there a Superpig?
     It's too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.

What should you say to a pig on roller skates?
     Don't say anything. Just get out of the way.

Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story?
     Because they called it garbage.

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?
     He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"

What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough?
     "Mmm. Canapes."

Why won't pigs take up jogging?
     They don't like to get that far from the table.

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?
     By the egg on its face.

When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake?
     Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?
     They're the ones with the little red hats.

What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur?
     Sir Lunchalot.

Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
     He called it "Ham Hocks".

What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail?
     "That's the end of me!"

Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty.
     Then you'd better buy a little pig.

Where did the pig win his Gold medal?
     The Olympigs!

Pig's explanation for the creation of the Universe:
     The Pig Bang Theory.

Why did the little pig hide the soap?
     He heard the farmer yell, "Hogwash!"

Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
     He split a seam in his blue ones.

Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig?
     Pigs don't have red noses.

What do pigs like with chow mein?
     Sooey sauce.

What kind of tie does a pig wear?
      Pig's tie!

Sports fad invented by pigs:
      Mud wrestling.