My Pig Jokes Page 1

Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?
     The corniest ones.

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?
     She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

Why did the spotted pigs run away?
     They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.

What do you give a sick pig?

Why didn't the Bionic Pig get a TV series of his own?
     He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Bionic Woman.

MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today?
THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.

FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

A city child came running into the farmhouse. "No wonder that mama pig is so big," she yelled. "There's a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!"

Did you hear about the pig's vacation? They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park.
     They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans.

If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
     Any party where there's lots of food.

What do pigs drive?
     Pig-up trucks!

What do you call a pig thief?
     A hamburglar!

How do you take a pig to hospital?
     By hambulance!

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
     A pig tail!

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?
     She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage In November?
     She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.

Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead.
     It's called a garbage compactor.

Pigs don't look very smart to me.
     Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer's ear?

What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough?
     He ate it quickly, before the others could ask him to share.

Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother's day?
     What did they do?
They threw a sowprize party.

What do hip pigs call their ladies?
     Fine swine.

What do you call a pig with no legs?
     A groundhog!

What do you call a crafty pig?