THE DAY OF ETERNITY AND THE DISTRESSES OF THIS LIFE
THE DISCIPLE
O MOST happy mansion of the city above! O most bright day of
eternity, which night does not darken, but which the highest truth
ever enlightens! O day, ever joyful and ever secure, which never
changes its state to the opposite! Oh, that this day shine forth, that
all these temporal things come to an end! It envelops the saints all
resplendent with heavenly brightness, but it appears far off as
through a glass to us wanderers on the earth. The citizens of heaven
know how joyful that day is, but the exiled sons of Eve mourn that
this one is bitter and tedious.
The days of this life are short and evil, full of grief and
distress. Here man is defiled by many sins, ensnared in many passions,
enslaved by many fears, and burdened with many cares. He is distracted
by many curiosities and entangled in many vanities, surrounded by many
errors and worn by many labors, oppressed by temptations, weakened by
pleasures, and tortured by want.
Oh, when will these evils end? When shall I be freed from the
miserable slavery of vice? When, Lord, shall I think of You alone?
When shall I fully rejoice in You? When shall I be without hindrance,
in true liberty, free from every grievance of mind and body? When will
there be solid peace, undisturbed and secure, inward peace and outward
peace, peace secured on every side? O good Jesus, when shall I stand
to gaze upon You? When shall I contemplate the glory of Your kingdom?
When will You be all in all to me? Oh, when shall I be with You in
that kingdom of Yours, which You have prepared for Your beloved from
all eternity?
I am left poor and exiled in a hostile land, where every day
sees wars and very great misfortunes. Console my banishment, assuage
my sorrow. My whole desire is for You. Whatever solace this world
offers is a burden to me. I desire to enjoy You intimately, but I
cannot attain to it. I wish to cling fast to heavenly things, but
temporal affairs and unmortified passions bear me down. I wish in mind
to be above all things, but I am forced by the flesh to be unwillingly
subject to them. Thus, I fight with myself, unhappy that I am, and am
become a burden to myself, while my spirit seeks to rise upward and my
flesh to sink downward. Oh, what inward suffering I undergo when I
consider heavenly things; when I pray, a multitude of carnal thoughts
rush upon me!
O my God, do not remove Yourself far from me, and depart not in
anger from Your servant. Dart forth Your lightning and disperse them;
send forth Your arrows and let the phantoms of the enemy be put to
flight. Draw my senses toward You and make me forget all worldly
things. Grant me the grace to cast away quickly all vicious imaginings
and to scorn them. Aid me, O heavenly Truth, that no vanity may move
me. Come, heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity fly from before
Your face.
Pardon me also, and deal mercifully with me, as often as I
think of anything besides You in prayer. For I confess truly that I am
accustomed to be very much distracted. Very often I am not where
bodily I stand or sit; rather, I am where my thoughts carry me. Where
my thoughts are, there am I; and frequently my thoughts are where my
love is. That which naturally delights, or is by habit pleasing, comes
to me quickly. Hence You Who are Truth itself, have plainly said: "For
where your treasure is, there is your heart also." If I love heaven, I
think willingly of heavenly things. If I love the world, I rejoice at
the happiness of the world and grieve at its troubles. If I love the
flesh, I often imagine things that are carnal. If I love the spirit, I
delight in thinking of spiritual matters. For whatever I love, I am
willing to speak and hear about.
Blessed is the man who for Your sake, O Lord, dismisses all
creatures, does violence to nature, crucifies the desires of the flesh
in fervor of spirit, so that with serene conscience he can offer You a
pure prayer and, having excluded all earthly things inwardly and
outwardly, becomes worthy to enter into the heavenly choirs. |
Of the day of eternity and of the straitnesses of
this life
Oh most blessed mansion of the City which is
above! Oh most clear day of eternity which the night obscureth not,
but the Supreme Truth ever enlighteneth! Day always joyful, always
secure and never changing its state into those which are contrary. Oh
would that this day might shine forth, and that all these temporal
things would come to an end. It shineth indeed upon the Saints,
glowing with unending brightness, but only from afar and through a
glass, upon those who are pilgrims on the earth.
2. The citizens of heaven know how glorious that
day is; the exiled sons of Eve groan, because this is bitter and
wearisome. The days of this life are few and evil, full of sorrows and
straits, where man is defiled with many sins, ensnared with many
passions, bound fast with many fears, wearied with many cares,
distracted with many questionings, entangled with many vanities,
compassed about with many errors, worn away with many labours, weighed
down with temptations, enervated by pleasures, tormented by poverty.
3. Oh when shall there be an end of these evils?
When shall I be delivered from the wretched slavery of my sins? When
shall I be mindful, O Lord, of Thee alone? When shall I rejoice in
Thee to the full? When shall I be in true liberty without any
impediment, without any burden on mind or body? When shall there be
solid peace, peace immovable and secure, peace within and without,
peace firm on every side? Blessed Jesus, when shall I stand to behold
Thee? When shall I gaze upon the glory of Thy kingdom? When shalt
Thou be to me all in all? Oh when shall I be with Thee in Thy Kingdom
which Thou hast prepared from the foundation of the world for them
that love Thee? I am left destitute, an exile in a hostile land,
where are daily wars and grievous misfortunes.
4. Console my exile, mitigate my sorrow, for
towards Thee all my desire longeth. For all is to me a burden,
whatsoever this world offereth for consolation. I yearn to enjoy Thee
intimately, but I cannot attain unto it. I long to cleave to heavenly
things, but temporal things and unmortified passions press me down.
In my mind I would be above all things, but in my flesh I am
unwillingly compelled to be beneath them. So, wretched man that I am,
I fight with myself, and am made grievous even unto myself, while the
spirit seeketh to be above and the flesh to be beneath.
5. Oh how I suffer inwardly, while with the mind
I discourse on heavenly things, and presently a crowd of carnal things
rusheth upon me whilst I pray. My God, be not Thou far from me, nor
depart in wrath from Thy servant. Cast forth Thy lightning and
scatter them; send out Thine arrows,(1) and let all delusions of my
enemy be confounded. Recall my senses unto Thyself, cause me to
forget all worldly things; grant me quickly to cast away and despise
the imaginations of sin. Succour me, O Eternal Truth, that no vanity
may move me. Come unto me, O Heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity
flee from before Thy face. Pardon me also, and of Thy mercy deal
gently with me, whensoever in prayer I think on anything besides Thee;
for truly I confess that I am wont to be continually distracted. For
often and often, where in the body I stand or sit, there I myself am
not; but rather am I there, whither I am borne by my thoughts. Where
my thought is, there am I; and there commonly is my thought where that
which I love is. That readily occurreth to me, which naturally
delighteth, or pleaseth through custom.
6. Wherefore Thou, who art the Truth, hast
plainly said, Where your treasure is, there will your heart be
also.(2) If I love heaven, I gladly meditate on heavenly things. If
I love the world, I rejoice in the delights of the world, and am made
sorry by its adversities. If I love the flesh, I am continually
imagining the things which belong to the flesh; if I love the spirit,
I am delighted by meditating on spiritual things. For whatsoever
things I love, on these I readily converse and listen, and carry home
with me the images of them. But blessed is that man who for Thy sake,
O Lord, is willing to part from all creatures; who doth violence to
his fleshly nature and crucifieth the lusts of the flesh by the
fervour of his spirit, so that with serene conscience he may offer
unto Thee a pure prayer, and be made worthy to enter into the angelic
choirs, having shut out from himself, both outwardly and inwardly, all
worldly things. |