CONSIDER THE HIDDEN JUDGMENTS OF GOD LEST YOU
BECOME PROUD OF YOUR OWN GOOD DEEDS
THE DISCIPLE
YOU thunder forth Your judgments over me, Lord. You shake all
my bones with fear and trembling, and my soul is very much afraid. I
stand in awe as I consider that the heavens are not pure in Your
sight. If You found wickedness in the angels and did not spare them,
what will become of me? Stars have fallen from heaven, and I -- I who
am but dust -- how can I be presumptuous? They whose deeds seemed
worthy of praise have fallen into the depths, and I have seen those
who ate the bread of angels delighting themselves with the husks of
swine.
There is no holiness, then, if You withdraw Your hand, Lord.
There is no wisdom if You cease to guide, no courage if You cease to
defend. No chastity is secure if You do not guard it. Our vigilance
avails nothing if Your holy watchfulness does not protect us. Left to
ourselves we sink and perish, but visited by You we are lifted up and
live. We are truly unstable, but You make us strong. We grow lukewarm,
but You inflame us. Oh, how humbly and lowly should I consider myself!
How very little should I esteem anything that seems good in me! How
profoundly should I submit to Your unfathomable judgments, Lord, where
I find myself to be but nothing!
O immeasurable weight! O impassable sea, where I find myself to
be nothing but bare nothingness! Where, then, is glory's hiding place?
Where can there be any trust in my own virtue? All vainglory is
swallowed up in the depths of Your judgments upon me.
What is all flesh in Your sight? Shall the clay glory against
Him that formed it? How can he whose heart is truly subject to God be
lifted up by vainglory? The whole world will not make him proud whom
truth has subjected to itself. Nor shall he who has placed all his
hope in God be moved by the tongues of flatterers. For behold, even
they who speak are nothing; they will pass away with the sound of
their words, but the truth of the Lord remains forever. |
Of meditation upon the hidden judgments of God,
that we may not be lifted up because of our well-doing
Thou sendest forth Thy judgments against me, O
Lord, and shakest all my bones with fear and trembling, and my soul
trembleth exceedingly. I stand astonished, and remember that the
heavens are not clean in thy sight.(1) If Thou chargest Thine angels
with folly, and didst spare them not, how shall it be unto me? Stars
have fallen from heaven, and what shall I dare who am but dust? They
whose works seemed to be praiseworthy, fell into the lowest depths,
and they who did eat Angels' food, them have I seen delighted with the
husks that the swine do eat.
2. There is therefore no holiness, if Thou O
Lord, withdraw Thine hand. No wisdom profiteth, if Thou leave off to
guide the helm. No strength availeth, if Thou cease to preserve. No
purity is secure, if Thou protect it not. No self-keeping availeth,
if Thy holy watching be not there. For when we are left alone we are
swallowed up and perish, but when we are visited, we are raised up,
and we live. For indeed we are unstable, but are made strong through
Thee; we grow cold, but are rekindled by Thee.
3. Oh, how humbly and abjectly must I reckon of
myself, how must I weigh it as nothing, if I seem to have nothing
good! Oh, how profoundly ought I to submit myself to Thy unfathomable
judgments, O Lord, when I find myself nothing else save nothing, and
again nothing! Oh weight unmeasurable, oh ocean which cannot be
crossed over, where I find nothing of myself save nothing altogether!
Where, then, is the hiding-place of glory, where the confidence
begotten of virtue? All vain-glory is swallowed up in the depths of
Thy judgments against me.
4. What is all flesh in Thy sight? For how shall
the clay boast against Him that fashioned it?(2) How can he be lifted
up in vain speech whose heart is subjected in truth to God? The whole
world shall not lift him up whom Truth hath subdued; nor shall he be
moved by the mouth of all who praise him, who hath placed all his hope
in God. For they themselves who speak, behold, they are all nothing;
for they shall cease with the sound of their words, but the truth of
the Lord endureth for ever.(3) |