The Imitation of Christ

 Thoughts Helpful in the Life of the Soul

Book I - The Eighth Chapter


Modern Version

Rev. William Benham's Translation

SHUNNING OVER-FAMILIARITY

     DO NOT open your heart to every man, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God. Do not keep company with young people and strangers. Do not fawn upon the rich, and do not be fond of mingling with the great. Associate with the humble and the simple, with the devout and virtuous, and with them speak of edifying things. Be not intimate with any woman, but generally commend all good women to God. Seek only the intimacy of God and of His angels, and avoid the notice of men.

     We ought to have charity for all men but familiarity with all is not expedient. Sometimes it happens that a person enjoys a good reputation among those who do not know him, but at the same time is held in slight regard by those who do. Frequently we think we are pleasing others by our presence and we begin rather to displease them by the faults they find in us.

Of the danger of too much familiarity

Open not thine heart to every man, but deal with one who is wise and feareth God. Be seldom with the young and with strangers.  Be not a flatterer of the rich; nor willingly seek the society of the great.  Let thy company be the humble and the simple, the devout and the gentle, and let thy discourse be concerning things which edify.  Be not familiar with any woman, but commend all good women alike unto God.  Choose for thy companions God and His Angels only, and flee from the notice of men.

2. We must love all men, but not make close companions of all. It sometimes falleth out that one who is unknown to us is highly regarded through good report of him, whose actual person is nevertheless unpleasing to those who behold it.  We sometimes think to please others by our intimacy, and forthwith displease them the more by the faultiness of character which they perceive in us.